If You Can’t Stand the Heat…Get Out the Humor?

Hello Bloglandia!

If you happen to pay any attention to the news (depressing, I know) or to my Instagram account (which no one does), you’ll know the Pacific Northwest has angered the sun gods this summer.

Apparently we forgot to sacrifice a salmon or a microbrew or whatever it takes to appease King Sol.

Temperatures blasted up to 116 (47 C) in June. We got a little relief, then received another few assaults from King Sol’s heat ray gun throughout July and August. Not as bad as one hundred and freaking sixteen, but when you don’t have air conditioning, a week of 95- to 100-degree (35 to 38C) temps turns the house a tad toasty.

Wait, did someone say toast?

Now I could complain about the house getting miserably hot. I could complain about my garden looking like King Sol stomped his big old feet all over it. But I’m not.

What I’m going to complain about is not being able to bake.

See, summer is a great time for bread making. The warm weather makes that dough rise faster than a vampire who’s just scented some yummy blood.

Plus, if you remember my post from last week, you know I’ve got a gob of gleaned produce that’s just begging for some baking magic.

But then there’s King Sol who keeps stopping by and ruining my bread parties.

Jerk.

Forget sacrificing that salmon, can I just whap Sol upside the head with it?

Since whacking royalty with dead fish usually ends badly for the fish wielding rebel, I’ve decided to employ a bit of stealth when dealing with King Sol.

Because as they say, you can have your summer and eat cake too. Wait, that’s not right, is it?

That stealth has mostly involved teaming up with a certain knave (aka “Weather app”) and plotting the times when King Sol will be out of town.

The minute he’s focussing that heat ray gun on some other poor suckers and the temps drop to the 80 – 85 degree range (25 – 30 C), it’s time to rebel against the malicious monarch and whip out the mixing bowls and baking pans!

Sorry, I know most people whip out guillotines and muskets for their revolutions, but I don’t have any of those in my cupboards.

It’s been a productive and tasty revolt during these heat breaks and I’ve managed to make…

• Zucchini bread (yes, from zucchini gleaned from my neighbors’ garden)
• Blackberry muffins (more gleaning goodies)
• Banana bread (heat + bananas = overly ripe bananas)
• Curry-cumin beer bread (because it was too dry this year in Portland for the slugs, so I didn’t need to break out my cheap ass slug trap beer)
• Chocolate-orange beer bread (it’s a really big can of beer)
• Whisky-raisin cinnamon swirl bread
• And a couple loaves of my hey-let’s-toss-this-in sourdough bread

Don’t worry…I’m not eating all these at once. I’ve given away some, but I’ve also stocked the freezer up with tasty treats.

I’ll probably eat them over the fall and winter, but if there is a revolt against King Sol, I can’t wait to do some damage by throwing a loaf of frozen baked goods at that blazing bastard.

How’s your summer (or winter) going? Baking up anything good, or is your kitchen too hot? Any baking rebellion recipes you care to share?

And before you go….

A Little Indie Author Recommendation

Times are annoying/depressing.scary right now. Which means we could all use a little escapism time…especially escapism time with a book that makes you laugh out loud.

For example….

Tales from a Roundabout by Jeff Stanger

This book is a whole collection of laughs. It’s a series of short stories (perfect for those days when your distracted mind can’t focus for long periods) all involving a cluster of quirky characters.

Be sure to read this in a public setting so your out-loud laughter can become the type of infection we need these days!

Just click the cover to nab your copy for only 99c : ) or keep scrolling to learn more.

A Collection of Funny Short Stories set in Carmel, Indiana —a City Obsessed with Art, Status, and Traffic Circles!

Just when you needed a good laugh, Jeff Stanger is back with a collection of hilarious stories set in Indiana’s wealthiest suburb and home to America’s most roundabouts.

City Council banned a gentlemen’s club from opening within the city’s borders. Now, the club owner is out for revenge and he plans an outrageous spectacle in the center of one of the city’s most visible roundabouts.

The public display of dancers brings the wrath of the Lakewood Estates Association Moms. And the obsession of the Lakewood Estates middle school boys!

Now the club owner and mayor are in a battle with ever-increasing stakes and outrageousness. And the boys will risk being grounded for life, just to impress a dancer twice their ages. And hiding in the shadows is a city council member with a score to settle before his time in office ends.

Fans of Tim Dorsey and Carl Hiassen will enjoy this hilarious collection.