Hello Book Lovers!!
That’s right, Mr. Tenpenny is ready to take your orders…pre-orders, that is.
But wait, I hear you say, hasn’t The Undead Mr. Tenpenny been up for pre-order for months now?
You’re absolutely right, but only on select retailers. Now, the book can be found on most any retailer out there, including…
- Barnes & Noble
- Google Play Books
- and many more
About the Book
Here’s the blurb (you’ll also find a sample chapter below)….
Work at a funeral home can be mundane. Until you accidentally start waking the dead.
Cassie Black works at a funeral home. She’s used to all manner of dead bodies. What she’s not used to is them waking up. Which they seem to be doing on a disturbingly regular basis lately.
Just when Cassie believes she has the problem under control, the recently-deceased Busby Tenpenny insists he’s been murdered and claims Cassie might be responsible thanks to a wicked brand of magic she’s been exposed to. The only way for Cassie to get her life back to normal is to tame her magic and uncover Mr. Tenpenny’s true killer.
Simple right? Of course not. Because while Cassie works on getting her newly-acquired magic sorted, she’s blowing up kitchens, angering an entire magical community, and discovering her past is more closely tied to Busby Tenpenny than she could have ever imagined.
If you like contemporary fantasy with snarky humor, unforgettable characters, and paranormal mystery such as Ben Aaronovitch’s Rivers of London series, you’ll find it hard to pry yourself away from this first book of the Cassie Black Trilogy.
- Selected as one of Apple’s Most Anticipated Books of 2021
- Winner of the Novel Excerpt Prize from the League of American PEN Women
- Finalist in the Yeah You Write! Novel Contest
Ready to Pre-Order?
If you’re ready to pre-order your copy, the easiest way to do that is to follow the Universal Book Link below….
Universal Book Link: https://books2read.com/CassieBlack1
Then, just click the store of your choice, and by the magic of the Interwebs, you’ll be whisked away to the store specific to your region.
This UBL gets you to the shopfront you need, while keeping lazy ol’ me from having to get links for 10 different Amazon stores, 88 different Kobo stores, 100 different…you get the idea.
Paperbacks Are Coming
Yes, there will be paperbacks of The Undead Mr. Tenpenny. Unfortunately, there’s no pre-order system for those just yet. But next week, I have something special planned for the “real” book fans out there!
Not Convinced Yet?
I could tell you that the book is fabulous, but that’s not going to seem very genuine. So don’t take my word for it. Instead, look at some of the amazing feedback from Mr. Tenpenny’s early reviewers…
The Undead Mr. Tenpenny is a clever, hilarious romp through a new magical universe that can be accessed through the closet of a hole-in-the-wall apartment in Portland, Oregon.
—Sarah Angleton, author of Gentleman of Misfortune
Man oh man, did I love this book! …The plot was great, and got even better as things progressed…. I think the biggest pro of this book is the characters.
—Jonathon Pongratz, author of Reaper
Wow and wow again! I absolutely loved this book! You get such a feel for the characters and the story is so fast paced you don’t want to put it down.
…suffused with dark humor and witty dialogue, of the sort that Painter excels at…a fun read for anyone who enjoys fast-paced, somewhat snarky, somewhat twisted, fantasy adventures.
—Berthold Gambrel, author of Vespasian Moon’s Fabulous Autumn Carnival
Still Not Convinced?
Here’s a sample from the book, and if you’d like even more, there’s a link below to grab a 14-chapter sample to see if Cassie Black’s mayhem and antics are for you….
Prologue – The Unexpected
I work in a funeral home. I’m used to seeing all manner of dead bodies. I’m used to bodies ranging from young to old, fat to thin, dark to pale. I’m used to the peacefully deceased to the horrifically killed. I’m used to them lying there still, silent, and slowly decomposing.
What I am not used to, is them getting up and walking away.
Which is why when Mr. Boswick — he of the untimely coronary embolism — started drumming his fingers against the cold surface of the metal work table as I added the final touches to his makeup job, well I’d like to tell you I kept my cool, that I maintained my composure, but that’d be a lie.
Nope, I screamed like a baby boomer who’s just lost every dime in her 401K, then promptly upended my tray of cosmetics as I jumped several feet backward. Five weeks and two walking bodies later, and I’m still scraping beige powder out of the oddest places.
As the cloud of talcum-soft haze filled the chilly workroom, Mr. Boswick sat up with a grunt, put his hands to his ears, and gave me the dirtiest would-you-shut-the-hell-up look I’ve ever seen on a guy — dead or alive.
Still giving me The Look and moving with uncertain slowness, Mr. Boswick eased himself off the table. His legs trembled a little as his feet and legs took their owner’s weight for the first time in several days. I could have taken him then. I could have just pushed him over and hogtied him, but let me tell you, no matter how many zombie movies you’ve seen or novels you’ve read, no matter how well you can suspend belief, you still go around living your life assuming the Zombie Apocalypse is something that happens to other people.
And so, rather than attack, double tap, or run, I stood there getting coated in Dewy Chiffon dust while Mr. Boswick took two clumsy steps with his hands held out like an unsteady toddler.
He looked back and forth between the two doorways in his line of sight. First one, then the other, then back to the first, then he headed toward Door Number Two. Unfortunately, this first effort at post-mortem decision making landed him in our storage closet, but we here at Wood’s Funeral Home don’t deduct points for guessing. Standing amongst a year’s supply of paper towels and bottles of extra-strength cleaning solution, Mr. Boswick turned to me with a question on his heavily made-up face.
I suppose I should have rushed over, slammed the closet door, locked him in, and burned the place down to save humanity, but at this point my neurons were more than a little numb with shock and were refusing to chat with one another. Instead of being the hero, I pointed to Door Number One above which shone the green glow of an exit sign. Mr. Boswick gave a little nod of thanks before shuffling to and out the door.
With my brain operating about as quickly as a dial-up modem from 1992, I glanced down at the metal work table. To all appearances it was empty, but I reached out and patted it just to make sure all the chemicals I work around weren’t giving me hallucinations. With a grimace, my hand landed on a cold, smooth surface that was definitely lacking the corporeal remains of Mr. Boswick. Then my eyes caught the photo of him I’d been working from. The photo his family had loaned us.
His family! If he tried to get to his family—
And there we have it, folks. Miracle of all miracles, Cassie Black’s brain is functioning once again.
(end of sample)
Need a longer sample? Get your 14-chapter excerpt HERE
Ready to pre-order? Just select the store of your choice HERE
The Cassie Black Trilogy is a fish-out-of-water tale that takes you from the streets of Portland to the Tower of London. It’s got magic and mystery, pastries and zombies, sentient gnomes, and an evil wizard…because there’s always an evil wizard, isn’t there?