Beasties, Books & Burgers…and Super Zapper Ray Guns

This week we’re taking a little break from Finn McSpool‘s tour of his homeland. Well, not really a break, because this post is all about a Beastie workin’ hard (sort of) for the money…and for the benefit of library lovers everywhere.

Like his human counterpart, David Beastie works at the local library where he toils behind the scenes processing all kinds of goodies like books, movies, and CDs. Of course, first, you have to drag yourself up the stairs to get to your office.

Ugh…

Then, you can’t just jump right into the action. You need to devote a fair amount of time to staring out at the park and watching the squirrels. It’s all about pacing yourself, right?

And let’s face it, it’s not a proper workday if you don’t spend at least an hour contemplating vacation destinations.

–Um, David Beastie, are you ready for work yet?

Looks like he is.

–So, what are you going to show us first?

–Hmmm, maybe how I put books into the system?

–Sounds good. Hey, wait, aren’t those books from home?Β 

Carefully ignoring the pointed question, he turns his back to me.

–See, we start by scanning the book into the system with the Super Zapper Ray Gun 3000.

ZAP!!

–Not to tell you your job, DB, but I don’t think that’s what that’s called. And don’t you need a bar code to scan?

–(Fumbles around looking a tad bit lost) Right, right. I was just getting to that. Cut me some slack; I’m new here. (Opens about ten drawers in a four-drawer desk and finds a sheet of bar codes). There we go. As I was saying, bar code on book, then book gets scanned by the Super Zapper Ray Gun 3000.

 

–And then? (I gesture toward the array of stickers at the corner of the desk)

–Oooh, STICKERS!!! I LOOOOOVE stickers!!!

–Uh-oh.

Once I managed to untangle David Beastie, he showed me more of his Super Zapper Ray Gun skills, but since this was his first day on the job and he really hadn’t built up any endurance, it wasn’t long before he was worn out.

–Hey DB, you need some lunch to revive you?

David Beastie was on his feet paws in a flash and dashing over to his backpack. Unlike Finn, he seemed perfectly willing to share, but I wasn’t sure how well I’d like a felt sandwich or a felt cookie, and I had my doubts whether a Beastie should be drinking on the job.

Thanks, but….

–I have another idea. Want to go out for lunch?

With an amazing burst of speed for a creature without muscles, DB was in the car and ready to be whisked away to Bob’s Red Mill where he encountered a burger nearly as tall as himself!

This may be even better than stickers!!!

He was supposed to share this with human David (aka “Mr Husband”), but the Beastie instinct took over. When Mr Husband went away to refill his glass, there was a whirl of munching and gobbling, and then this….

At least he saved a bite for Human David.

Luckily, he woke up from his burger coma by the time he got back to work. Although I wonder how long he stayed awake after climbing into his chair?

And what was Finn up to while poor David Beastie was “hard” at work? Out on the river enjoying his first spot of stand-up paddle boarding for the year. What a tough life he leads, right?

Thanks for popping by everyone. If you want to see another Beastie getting up to trouble in the library be sure to check out this post by Tierneycreates.

I’ll be back next week with Finn’s final foray through the streets of Kilkenny and I might even touch on the next stop of our Irish journey while I’m at it. Have a great weekend!!

***

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15 thoughts on “Beasties, Books & Burgers…and Super Zapper Ray Guns

  1. Oh my goodness – I loved the library adventures of David Beastie!!!! That was quite the burger he ate!
    “With an amazing burst of speed for a creature without muscle” – oh my goodness this was such a funny and delightful post! Beasties Rule!!!

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  2. Hahahaaaaaa! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ With David Beastie’s “help”, I don’t think Mr Husband needs to worry about his job being outsourced to Beastie contractors anytime soon! This post totally cracked me up… Between the Super Zapper Ray Gun 3000, tangling with stickers and the mystery of the vanishing burger, I’ve been chuckling away all the way through! Hopefully I’ll be able to complete the library trilogy with trip to my own local book palace sometime soon… Although I reckon I’ll have a hard time topping this and tierneycreates Beastie’s visits! Cheers for brightening up my Monday! πŸ˜€

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    1. They really should name them “Book Palaces”, shouldn’t they? Which is now making me think of the beer display I saw at the grocery store today where they had a bunch of cases of beer stacked up in the center of the aisle…a little rearranging and voila, Beer Fort!! Annnnyway, I wonder if there’s soon going to be a No Beastie policy put up in libraries around the world if these antics keep spreading :))

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      1. Hahaha! Only if they insist on bringing their own very particular brand of “help” with them when they visit πŸ˜‚ I reckon they’re safe enough for the time being though… If Paddy and Plunkett have not yet been blacklisted from every museum in Europe, library visits are still very much on the cards! Right, now I’m off to build myself a Beer Fort… And discover how much of the walls I can drink before it becomes structurally unsound!

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      2. I have a feeling my defenses would be breached long before any enemy attacked. Probably best I didn’t have dreams of being a solider…or fort architect.

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  3. Hahahaha brilliant. Although, my main takeaway from this is — wtf is that AWESOME looking DVD with the majestic feline on the cover?!?! I NEED IT, I NEED TO WATCH IT. That wonderful sticker organising contraption thingie is also pretty jealousy-inducing. I must say, DB’s job seems pretty sweet!!! πŸ™‚

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    1. Ahh, the majestic feline DVD is in fact a majestic feline book. It’s a series called Warriors (because all cats are furry little ninjas) by Erin Hunter and I think there’s something like half a million books (give or take) in the series. Yeah, I know, tough job sifting through movies and books and putting stickers on things – hahaha!!!

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      1. Ohhhhhh man even better!!! I would have been soooo into those books as a kid! I figured since it was a real life cat model on the cover, it must be a film haha. Yes, putting stickers on books sounds NEARLY as fun as my job of taking abusive calls from deranged members of the public. Not at alllllll jealous!

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