As promised last year around this time (and just yesterday for those of you keeping track), it’s time for my Losers of 2015. In my Saturday Selections feature my goal is to try to combat a bit of the usual negativity we see so much of on the Interwebs. Each week(-ish) I share with you something positive, something I enjoyed, and something I hope you might try to bring a little “Yay” to your life.
But as anyone who knows me can attest, I am not always positive. In fact, my thermostat is normally stuck on Cynicism most of the time. And today, my snarky side gets to shine. So, let’s take peek at just a few of the things that had me wanting to run and hide from humanity this year (more than usual, that is).
Saturday De-Selections of 2015
Book: The Age of the Vikings by Anders Winroth. There’s something about Vikings that fascinates me. Sure they were the terrorists of their time, but they also have some interesting social constructs, weave some great myths, and bolstered many cities that still flourish all while having sea adventures. These are not boring people, but Winroth somehow makes them the most boring group in all of history. I know the point was to show another side of the Vikings, but seriously, how can you make Vikings boring? A better option is a comparison of the Celts (another intriguing group) and Vikings called From Mist and Stone by George Stone.
Movie: What We Do In the Shadows. I can already hear the flak for this now because some people are rating this as one of the funniest movies ever. I know funny. I love dark comedy, British humor, and all shade of haha. This is not funny. This movie is annoying and was shut off after about an hour of waiting for something in it to tickle my funny bone. You want dark creatures living together and trying to be normal? Go get the British version of Being Human. Excellent show, snappy humor, and plenty of brooding moments from Aidan Turner.
Beauty Product: Noxema razors. I’m cheap when it comes to buying razors. I don’t expect the best shave in the world from my cheapie blades, but Noxema razors are the worst. I’m not even sure they should be classified as razors. For being so cheap, they actually shave okay…when you can get the blades against your skin. The handle at the head is weirdly soft and doesn’t allow you to apply any pressure unless you do come shadow puppet-esque moves with your fingers to hold the head in place.
Restaurant: Baan Thai Restaurant in the Napili Plaza on Maui. I was really craving some Thai food when my husband and I went to Maui this fall. We tried this place once only to find they were close (despite the sign saying we were there during opening hours). We tried again the next day. No one is in there except one of the employees with his back to the door sitting down watching TV. He barely turns around, vaguely gestures to a table, and then returns to whatever he’s watching. A bit later he deigns to get up and toss a couple menus at us. My husband (being the friendly one of the relationship) says “Hi” to the guy who says nothing in return and then plunks back down to watch his show. I pushed the menu away and said “I am not eating here.” We got up and went over to Maui Tacos which was SOOOOOOO good!
Coffee Shop: Starbucks. Not for the color of their cups, but for consistently having coffee that tastes like they’re serving French Roasted Death. Skip Starbucks and find a local coffee shop that knows how to make a proper cup of coffee.
Social Media: Social media like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. loses not only because I hate it in general, but because of how people take a minor thing (like red cups) and turn it into a polarizing issue. It’s a freaking cup. Shut up! Socializing should bring people together, make us realize how much we are like, and to give us a chance to discuss what we dot agree on. Instead everything (EVERYTHING) becomes an issue to which people spew whatever opinion first pops into their head without actually considering the full scope of the debate and if someone dares to disagree they get reamed from one end to the other. Shut up, social media. Just shut up.
Local Media: The Oregonian for consistently being a terrible newspaper. Not only are there many, many, many grammatical and spelling errors, but stories are outdated by the time they make the pages. I understand news comes quick thanks to the Internet and papers can ‘t keep up with that, but the Oregonian ran an article on how to avoid a hangover on 1 January….that’s right, the day AFTER everyone would have been drinking heavily.
International Media: BBC. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE BBC shows at an almost-an-addict level (except Downton Abbey). What angers me about BBC is their online media player that only allows people in the UK to watch BBC programs that only air in the UK. WTF? The Brits can watch these shows on TV! I’m stuck in the US and can’t. I want my chance! Okay, mainly I’m just angry that I wasn’t able to watch And Then There Were None that aired on Xmas weekend. When the BBC interferes with my Aidan Turner viewing, I find them evil and cruel.
And one final BOO for 2015 (and beyond)…anything Kardashian, 50 Shades, Trump, or Jenner. Again, shut up. Just shut up.
What did you hate during 2015? Go on, get all that frustration off your chest so you can enjoy 2016!
See y’all next Saturday with my regular, more positive Saturday Selections feature!
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TAMMIE PAINTER IS THE AUTHOR OF THE TRIALS OF HERCULES: BOOK ONE OF THE OSTERIA CHRONICLES AND AN ARTIST WHO DEDICATES HERSELF TO THE TEDIUM OF CREATING IMAGES WITH COLORED PENCIL. YOU CAN FIND HER WORK AT TAMMIE PAINTER’S BOOKSTORE & GALLERY.